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Discussion Topic: Therapy
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 unhappy |
09-10-2003 @ 10:28 AM |
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Member
Joined: Sep. 2003
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Hi
I'm new to the site. I'm 29 years old and know I've been suffering from depression for about 12 years now after first going to see my GP with sleeping problems when I was 17. I was too young and too scared to accept the diagnosis then. I only recently went back and admitted I needed help as I had started to feel as if I was slipping. I was used to bouts of depression which could be triggered by almost anything and could last from weeks to several months. Recently from out of the blue I hit a very major patch of depression where I feel as if I'm unravelling. I've started to secretly drink and my existing compulsive eating-purging has gotten far worse. I know it's an inability to cope with loneliness that does it, I have a very poor relationship with my mother and none with my brother and have never been in a relationship with a man. The only thing in my life curently is work and I don't really like that, but it's a place that I get to be around people. I'm beginning to realise that the antidepressants I've been taking for the last 2 weeks are probably not going to be enough to sort me out.
I think I need some sort of therapy as well but have no idea where to start adn I'm concerned thatr it might only serve to upset me more as the only times I have considered suicide with any seriousness followed my initial consultation with a psychiatrist as a teenager. I would like to know what other people in this sort of situation have found useful.
Any help would be appreciated.
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| Anne-Marie, Site Director |
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09-10-2003 @ 10:53 PM |
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Moderator
Joined: Nov. 2000
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Hi, Welcome to the site.
May I suggest you take the free depression test, print out the results and take them with you to a doctor? This will help serve as intro and icebreaker for you. The test does not diagnose, as only a foctor can, but it is an aid.
I believe that isolation is the enemy of depression. All work and no play is really tough on someone. To meet other people, have you thought of joining groups of similar interests? A book club, sports group, service club, all kinds of groups exist out there. If you look up 'hobby' in Google for instance, you can get all kinds of ideas. It need not be big or flamboyant interests. And with those interests, there are always clubs meeting to exchange info and to socialize. Check the newspaper for 'What's on' or check your local areas's Web site. They may have links to interesting activities.
Hope this helps. All the best.
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| unhappy |
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09-11-2003 @ 5:52 AM |
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Joined: Sep. 2003
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Thanks for your reply and suggestions.
I have tried these sort of things, taking evening classes, joined a walking group and I even started going to church even though I don't believe just to be around people. I go to the gym regularly and force myself to go out to work social gatherings. It only helps a little as you don't get to know anybody, it's just widened my circle of acquaintances. I feel very lonely in these groups which is at least as bad as when I'm actually on my own. I know I don't help matters but I find it a huge strain because I have to work so hard at these outings, the moment I stop I'm left looking into my drink in a corner. As a result of all this it can still be weeks before I get a phone call from anyone and I find the isolation and feeling that it will never change extremely difficult to cope with.
I've taken the test and will try to discuss it with my GP when I go back to review how the antidepressants are working. I'm worried that I may have to be on them for life.
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| Anne-Marie, Site Director |
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09-11-2003 @ 7:19 AM |
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Moderator
Joined: Nov. 2000
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In some centers, there are support groups for those who are depressed. These groups might allow you to get to know people and let them get to know you. There also may be drop-in centers. Have you looked into these through your local mental health services? Sometimes it only takes a request from an interested person for a counsellor to organize such a group. Why such a group? Because people there will understand and accept you, and you them.
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| unhappy |
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09-11-2003 @ 7:50 AM |
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Joined: Sep. 2003
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A support group sounds like a good idea. It's been very useful finding this site, just to see that other people are experiencing the same problems, so maybe a group would help in the same way. I haven't looked into what mental health facilities are available yet as I'ce been struggling to come to terms with the idea of having a mental health problem. I will try to find out more when I look into getting some sort of therapy.
Thanks for your help
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| liz |
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09-26-2003 @ 10:25 PM |
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Joined: Sep. 2003
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Since being diagnosed with major depressive disorder 7 years ago, I've had access to wonderful therapists and have tried most of the antidepressants, all to no avail. Six months ago I made the decision to try to accept my depression, stopped all medications, and stopped therapy. It's been a daily struggle. I cry all the time, have insomnia, bursts of anger. But I'm convinced that I need to find the help within myself, not from doctors or pills. I can't keep going to therapy if I'm not willing or able to make the changes necessary to help myself. My husband is no help at all, and friends are tired of how long this has been going on. They think I should be able to get over it. Am I wrong to try to go it alone?
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| Anne-Marie, Site Director |
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09-27-2003 @ 3:03 PM |
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Moderator
Joined: Nov. 2000
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Hi, Liz. Medication is an aid, not a cure. Many people find that with the right combo, they can live life relatively well. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right one.
I might have missed something in what you said, but has cutting out all meds helped any, if you're crying and miserable all day long?
It's ok to work on yourself, but there is danger in making your own recovery or treament plan as you may head in the wrong direction and end up feeling worse, or obsess over some aspect that really might not make an overall difference. The ideal therapy is to have a therapist create a plan along with you, one that includes your input and satisfies and interests you. By planning along *with* you, together, a plan can be made that appeals to you, one you can input into, and work on your own time as well.
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| unhappy |
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09-29-2003 @ 7:55 AM |
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Joined: Sep. 2003
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Hi Liz,
I've been taking sertraline for 5 weeks now and have to admit that despite my strong initial reservation that I'm feeling a lot better. Having tried unsuccessfully for several years to sort myself out I found the best I could mange was occasional gaps between the bouts of crying and overwhelming misery. I would certainly not recommend it as a way forward.I feel I have wasted so many years trying to beat this thing myself.
I have been referred to the counsellor by my GP which should hopefully start to address the problems i have and the difficulties I have coping with my daily life. I still have serious concerns about how I will be after I finish the 3 month course of antidepressants but will cross that bridge then.
I think the trouble I have had has been that as I've always felt alone I believed that I had no choice but to try to fix myself. i think that we have to accept that getting better is down to us but that we don't necessarily have to do it on our own and that it make sense to make use of the resourses and profssionals available.
Hope this helps
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| liz |
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10-06-2003 @ 8:51 AM |
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Joined: Sep. 2003
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Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear in my first message. While on medication, I did have some periods of feeling better. I was sometimes energized and positive. But the feelings never lasted, and I never found the right medication that would help me hold onto those feelings. I spent a lot of time in therapy and covered every possible aspect of my life from my childhood to my marriage, and I've made peace with some of the things that I had no control over, like the way I was raised. I think one thing that bothers me is that my psychiatrist did not try to talk me out of leaving therapy. He seems to feel I need to accept things as they are, although I know he would like to see me go back on meds. I currently take a very low dose of Seroquel for insomnia, but that's all. I really miss going to therapy and having that safe place to let my emotions out.
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| Nancy |
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10-08-2003 @ 8:30 PM |
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Joined: Oct. 2003
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Man, it is SO hard to think about therapy without hearing the judgements and counter-judgments society reacts with. When I was in the thick of it, I hated going....... But what I hear most from you, Liz, that resonates with my brain, is the frustration with meds and "getting help." In my own story, it was realizing that the latest new med was not going to be the one that helped me feel better, at all. That could make things feel so much worse than the even did. (And it ain't good to feel "worse" than major depression!) For me, though, the meds were what got me stable enough that I could start working on my own stuff for real. I felt guilty about "needing drugs" to get to feeling better, but it was clear that nothing else was going to help me start seeing life differently to the point that I could take some control away from the disease, and start making decisions on some _other_ basis instead. So I decided to have that moral struggle re. taking meds later, after I was better able to figure out how I felt about it.
Seems to me that if you miss therapy, that might be a good enough sign that it'd be worth trying it again for a while...?? One doc not encouraging you to stick it out does not mean that you really shouldn't be going. THere are things we should never accept, and depression is one of them, in my book.
And I love what "unhappy" had to say......and that's great that you are already feeling better.....
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| liz |
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10-09-2003 @ 1:12 PM |
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Joined: Sep. 2003
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Thanks for replying, Nancy. I've considered that I may need to change therapists, but if you've ever done that, you know how hard it can be to start from square one. This may sound strange, but I think I'm waiting for someone to tell me it's ok to ask for help again. I have a problem with entitlement--it's really hard for me to allow myself to ask for things. If I had experienced real progress while in therapy and on meds, maybe it would be easier to go back. In my most recent visit, which was several months ago, my doctor told me I need to develop other sources of support, but you just can't go out and talk to people on the street!!
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| Nancy |
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10-12-2003 @ 6:39 PM |
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Joined: Oct. 2003
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Yup, that is another trap of depression. You "can't" ask for help, because that means something additional bad about you.....bleah. It is a terrible trap (to my mind). If you're looking for someone to tell you its ok to ask for help now, I can do that.....because it is ok, and not only ok but even a good thing to be able to do when times come where it is required...and I do remember having to switch therapists, and it was, for me, a disaster. Ugh. But, even given that, I would STILL recommend switching, over sticking with someone if that person does not seem the best for you......if it ends up feeling like a choice between finding someone else, or not talking to a therapist at all, it really seems like finding a new one is the better option........
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| Posted By |
Discussion Topic: Therapy
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